As they say, one is the loneliest number, and it certainly must feel that way today for Tom Brady and the 18-1 New England Patriots. On top of losing the Superbowl, Gisele Bundchen revealed in an imaginary exclusive interview that she is leaving Tom Brady:I am the hottest female on the planet. I only date the Alpha Male. Tom Brady is no longer the Alpha Male. Maybe he can date Alessandra Ambrosia or Adriana Lima, I don’t care. Now stop talking and kiss me, Donkey!
The rest of my dream … I mean, the interview … consisted of me licking spray cheese off of Gisele Bundchen’s feet as she sat in a velvet throne painting her nails and barking out orders with a German accent. Tom Brady was last seen in the Stadium parking lot, crying in the front seat of his 1974 Honda Civic.
Gisele Bundchen - To the Victor go the Spoils!
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Adriana Lima,
Alessandra Ambrosio,
Gisele Bundchen
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