Now I am probably the last person in the world who is interested in furthering Heidi Montag's career, but her latest project, the Playboy spread, feels to me like a bit of a kick in the sub-cockal area. I mean the reports have it that she isn't even nude, just covered in dirt and muck.
The only way this could possibly be good news is if Playboy releases the Heidi Montag pictorial video, and it turns out that the "mud" is actually monkey feces thrown at her by real live monkeys. Wait ... do monkeys actually fling poo or is that some sort of TV rumour that I have absorbed into my Television and Twinkie rotted brain? Youtube will have the answers ... and the latest Heidi Montag song!
Heidi Montag is a Tock Cease!
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