Heidi Montag recently launched a new clothing line “Heidiwood” which, like most celebrity endorsed fashion lines, is just Walmart clothes at about 5 times the price. But Heidi Montag’s clothing line launch is not why I am blogging about her. You see, what is happening here is that I am being swept up in the quasi-celebrity hysteria that seems to surround any 16-24 year old female who, by the grace of her silicone or saline enhanced sweater melons, gets her face on TV.
I do have some advice for Heidi (except I stole it from the Simpsons): “You see, a lot of (wo)men are going to want to have sex with you, and, er, we want them to think they can.” (Episode 9F21 - Homer's Barbershop Quartet)
Basically what I am saying is that is you are gonna be photographed with half your ass hanging out of your shorts, make sure you aren’t hugging another dude. As focussed as I can be, I don’t want my eyes drifting over to look at some guy at that crucial moment of release ... that’s how you get VD. This one time I accidentally released during a Wilford Brimley commercial and I got Venereal Diabetes.
Heidi Montag makes good Fashion Sense
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