In perhaps the most frightening news I have heard in months, Pamela Anderson was recently chased through an airport by a midget in camoflage pants. I know stalkers can come in all shapes and sizes, but midget stalkers only come in one size, so look out!
In a desperate attempt to defend herself, Pamela tried to knock over the attacker by swinging her pendulous breasts. The 3 foot 6 attacker was spared as Anderson's breasts swung safely overhead, but did become frightened and ran off. Authorities believe the midget stalker may still be at large, but will probably turn her attention to more manageable midget targets like Avril Lavigne.
Pamela Anderson's breasts were not injured in the melee and have issued a statement through their publicist that they are at home resting and recovering.
Pamela Anderson narrowly escapes with her life!
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