Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the halls
nothing was jingling
not even my balls
It has been a dry spell
Eight months you see
since anyone unwrapped my presents
but me
So I dialed up Pulp-Pictures
got out the anti-chaff potion
hand cream and towels
tissues and lotions
When out on 5th Street
there arose such a clatter
I stopped mid-stroke
to see what was the matter
It was the cops
arresting the Johns
they rounded up the hookers
and then they were gone
There was one blind hooker
all alone on the corner
she hadn't seen the cops
I thought I should warn her
We ran to the alley
to stay out of sight
she wanted to thank me
I said "alright"
As she was sugaring my plums
She said "Have you been naughty or nice"
I said "I've been naughty"
and I unloaded twice
I don't need Santa
with his toys and his sack
It's Christmas baby
I can pay hookers with crack
Merry Chirstmas!
'Twas the Night before Christmas
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